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Intergenerational

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Not All Daddies Are The Same

Gay culture, not unlike other cultures, is often perceived to be all about stereotypes. This is never truer than in any of the 'named' cultures (Bear, Leather, S&M, etc.). The ‘Daddy/hunter’ community is no different. As a Daddy who spends a lot of time, much too much time, I have to admit, online chatting, I get frustrated when I hear perfectly attractive hunters bemoaning the fact they can’t find a Daddy to date because they aren’t (insert stereotypical requirement here): young, slender, smooth, tall, athletic, etc.

Really, guys, Daddies don't all expect, require, or desire the same things. All you need to do is spend 5 minutes perusing the Daddyhunt profiles to see that, just like Daddies exist in all different shapes and sizes, Daddies have every different kind of taste and interest imaginable. You can find profiles of Daddies looking for girlie guys, masculine guys, tall guys, short guys, hairy guys, smooth guys, and on and on and on.

Some Daddies seem to prefer only younger, smoother, etc., but not all. Not every Daddy lives up to the presumed stereotype. Not all Daddies spend their entire lives chronically in search of some 'perfect' guy who meets some idealized, unrealistic standard. Okay, I admit, Daddies do tend to prefer that the guys they desire find older guys appealing, but then, who of us doesn’t want to be thought of as sexy? I know THIS DADDY certainly does! Not all Daddies have some unreasonable expectation that any guy they pursue be both perfect and static (i.e. always looking young and hot, etc.).

Okay, stereotypes exist for a reason. Sometimes, maybe more than sometimes, people live up to one stereotype or another. Most people don’t. The trick is finding a way for the ‘right’ Daddy to meet the ‘right’ hunter. That is the beauty of online communities like Daddyhunt. Such venues are safe places where we can share information about who we are, what we seek, and what it is we have to offer, affording us unique opportunities to form connections with those with whom we have complimentary interests. So, buck up, guys, it has worked for me, it can work for you. I promise.

At least this is what THIS DADDY thinks.

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A Melbourne Gay Couple’s Thoughts on Being Supporters of DaddyHunt

We have been paying DaddyHunt customers for about eight months. After an absence of around four years we returned to DH, as the national app we’d previously been paying through the nose for, had proven an expensive waste of time.

As a committed, longtime male couple seeking a significant younger other, optimistically we became paying “supporters” of DaddyHunt.com, trusting in its advertising that there are young men in our country who are genuinely interested in a variety of older men.

This may indeed be the case. Even so, at the same time we wondered whether other people had considered a sizeable number of young gay men (in any country) would be grateful to DaddyHunt for legitimising their ambiguous search for security; just as many older men would be grateful for having validated their “right” to re-connect with youth? All this begged the question where does reality end, and fantasy begin? After all, isn’t the idea of a successful younger and older union a patriarchal wet dream, proselytised by Hollywood over the past century?

In our view, if love is to exist between younger and older men, and be meaningful today, there needs to be a connection. In an age of disposable, disingenuous social media, this may be easier said than done. Which is to say the connection is not something facilitated by dashing-off five-word sentences in haste, messaged once a fortnight. And nor is it assured by either man singularly dedicating himself to produce what the media has insisted is a priceless, “marketable body”.

For inter-generational relationships to work, we believe there needs to be recognition of the frailty and shortcomings - along with the strengths - of individuals. In an organised, mercantile gay economy we accept the vitality and idealism associated with youth; just as we accept the romantic notion of financial security, insight and experience of age. We ask whether it is possible to look beyond these clichés, and see the person.

M & P Melbourne

What are your views on this subject?

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